I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
