She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
