How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
