i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
