Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
