we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize