Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
