It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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