I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
