But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I puked a lego.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
