he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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