I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The adults are the big ones right?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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