you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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