oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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