in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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