This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
