We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
