Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We're too hungover to prance.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize