what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
