So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
