i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
