I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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