that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
