google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
last night I used snow as a chaser
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
