Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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