So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
