He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize