In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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