thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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