I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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