I just cut my nipple shaving
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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