How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
