She is in my trunk
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
