Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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