RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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