physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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