I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
