At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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