I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize