It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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