So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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