Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
