How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
