I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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