She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
