Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
