I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
