I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
