I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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