I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
