So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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