it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
