He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize