he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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