Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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