Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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