I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
