I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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