there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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