Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
